RELATIVELY ON TIME

When I first came to Spain, I was shocked and scandalized at Spanish punctuality. It became clear from the very beginning that me and my Galician friends have a completely different way of perceiving time, punctuality and the resulting (im)politeness.

For instance, we differed significantly when interpreting utterances such as "Meet me at 5 pm". Namely, I was under the impression that "five pm" meant "five pm on the dot" and I would thus show up a little bit early in order not to miss my appointment. Jandro, however, would happily turn up between quarter and half past, explaining that, obviously, it wasn't a big deal, as it was customary to arrive up to thirty minutes (!) late. To me, however, it meant at least fifteen minutes of waiting, during which time I would restlessly check my watch, wonder if I'd got the time wrong, feel silly and check my watch again. After a while, I managed to get through with my message. Jandro started arriving more or less on time, while I made the necessary adjustment in the form of showing up slightly late. My punctuality problems are over, I thought, relieved. I have finally figured this out! Cultural problem solved, big success.

And then I came to Gabon.

Here in Gabon punctuality is even less valued. A Gabonese is bound to arrive late, and when I say "late", I mean Late, capital L. Our own experience shows that it is not uncommon for a Gabonese to respond: Oh, you're already there?, if you call him to ask whether s/he remembers that s/he's supposed to meet you at a certain place. When you, at first surprised, then resigned, answer that yes, indeed, you are already waiting at the agreed cafe, they will usually respond that they're in the taxi, getting there, or, worse still, you will be assured that they'll be there in no time, as they're leaving home at the very moment. I have heard many stories (backed up by personal experience) of Gabonese friends arriving one hour (or more!) late for dinner, which, clearly, would get seriously overcooked in the meantime.

The situation is not at all better in the case of business relations. Your mechanic / cleaning lady / driver / guide will only give you an estimated time of their arrival. If a mechanic assures you that he'll be there at 3 pm, expect him between 3 and 5 pm (that if he decides to show up at all!); there is no point in calling to ask if he's on his way, as he will always say: I'll be there in five minutes!, regardless of whether he's at the other end of the city or just turning onto your driveway. There's more: at an African restaurant you're always in for a long wait: first, for a waiter to take your order; then, for the food; finally, for the bill and the change. And don't even try to get restless and nervous: it will only make matters worse!

To finish up, let me tell you the story which inspired this whole entry: Every Friday I have an English class with a Gabonese student (an adult). Usually punctual, today, sadly, he did not show up at our meeting point. I waited for five minutes and called him. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello! It's your English teacher. Forgot about me?
Student: Oh, no, I did not forget. I'm still at the bank (as if I knew he was going to the bank).
Me: Oh. OK. Shall I wait for you? Are you getting here soon?
Student: Oh, no. I'm not coming.
Me: Yes, right. Are you coming next week?
Student: Of course (why would you even ask, silly girl?).
Me: Next time when you can't come, can you send me a message?
Student: All right, no problem (as if I were insisting on doing me a big favour).

I sighed and took a taxi home. The funny thing is, I wasn't surprised or angry. C'est le Gabon. Cultural problem solved. Big success.

NO MAN'S LAND

I really didn't mean to be silent for such a long time! It turns out, however, that holidays can keep you very busy. We left Gabon on 8th July and spent two weeks in Poland and two weeks in Galicia. Europe surprised us. Suddenly, we could melt into the crowd, unnoticed. So many products to choose from. Such low prices. Everything was comfortable again, the context so well known. But being away from our two countries for a long time also made us see how different they are from each other: we spent two weeks in a typically Polish home, followed directly by two more weeks in a very Galician environment. And we jotted down several differences we'd used to pay little attention to before. Turns out you don't need to travel as far as Africa to talk about cultural shocks!

Early Bird or Night Owl?
In Gabon we sort of follow the Polish timetable - a great adjustment on Jandro's part for which I will be eternally greatful. We get up at 6 am (for work, of course) and go to sleep between 10 and 11 pm (sometimes - in my case - as early as 9:30 pm!). That is more or less what we did when staying with my parents. In Galicia, however, in the summer the sun sets after 10 pm. It is customary to dine after this hour and meet people even later; a friend might ask you to join him for a drink at 11 or midnight. It is virtually impossible to go to sleep before 1 am and most people go to bed much later. As I'm no night owl, we would compromise and try to get home around 1. Result: we would always get home earlier than Jandro's parents.

The art of eating

In Libreville we start our day with a big breakfast, we have hot lunch at 1 pm and a light dinner around 7 or 8 pm. As my parents don't have lunch at home on workdays, we could follow this framework without a problem, spending as much time at the table as we wanted. Anyway, in Poland having meals together is not such a big deal during the working week: every family member has a different timetable and we simply eat when we get home. On the other hand, we tend to gather for a family Sunday lunch, which includes a soup, a main course and a dessert (during the week there is only one course and the dessert is nearly always skipped). On such occasions we spend some time together at the table, chatting and enjoying one another's company. In Galicia, however, every meal is a celebration. It always consists of two courses, bread, wine, coffee, dessert(s) and spirits. You spend the average of two hours (up to three) at the table, which is a special family time. It is crucial to be home in time for lunch, this being the central point of the day. The food is delicious but you always eat too much. And the hours spent sitting at the table, talking, do not help you burn all these calories. Result: two kilogramms more in two weeks.

My cousin's mother-in-law's daughter is pregnant again
In other words: family. Family is important in Poland. You visit them a few times a year and spend holidays with them. They stick up for you and help you. You like your family. In Galicia family bonds go beyond what you can imagine. Family members visit one another sometimes more than once a day (!) and you often hear gossip as the one in the heading. They meet up socially or go out together several times a week. Jandro has more first cousins than my entire family put together and during our stay in Galicia we must visit them all at least once. And, Jandro's town being as small as it is, you meet everybody anyway by simply going to the fish market. Result: Jandro's aunt made us a delicious empanada de xoubas to take to Poland.

Of course, we had already made note of all this before. Nevertheless, being away made us realise how much we both adjusted: we are neither typically Galician nor typically Polish anymore. We created a sort of a new space - no man's land - in which we share our respective cultures, taking from them the things we both accept and like. And as much as I like being at home, it will also be fun to get back to that special space of ours.

Pictures from here and here.

Photos from Poland and Galicia here.